Fox News Latino
Mississippi Democratic Representative – and wiseacre -- Steve Holland was fuming over the way Republicans' wasted valuable time on symbolic posturing. So, to illustrate, Holland proposed renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. You want posturing? I'll show you posturing -- that kind of thing.
Holland explained, "I didn't do it to be funny but more so to give a parallel of how insignificant are the issues that this far right crowd is pushing as their primary agenda." Didn't matter — social media went off. Rename the Gulf of Mexico?!?! But...but...but!!!!
This post, highlighted by the satire-savvy Jackson Free Press, was typical: "If this bill passes the legislature and is signed into law, perhaps it is time to rename the Mississippi River. After all, sharing a name with a state that wants to rewrite maps out of disdain for Mexicans would be a disgrace to the rest of the nation."
As Foghorn Leghorn used to say, That's a joke, son. But maybe Rep. Holland is onto something -- what if we DID change the name? Here's one idea from commenter Dan Wiener on our Facebook page:
Better THAT than the "Gulf of BANK of America!"
Or, what about the Gulf of Corporate Infallibility. Or Operation: Enduring Hydration. Mr. Shrimpy's Playhouse? The Southeastern Conference Lap Pool? The Gulf of Stay Out, Land-Based Mammals? The Wet Zone, brought to you by Gatorade? Sea-PAC?
Put on your thinking caps everybody -- it's time to re-brand that body of water to our south. We'll post the winners on Monday.
(Big thanks to the Jackson Free Press for debunking the national media's first take on this one.)
Leave a Comment:
Koch Industries
To be clear, not the "Gulf of Koch Industries", just "Koch Industries."
Gulfs are people too, my friend.
What about the "Gulf of Ire(land)".....
The Black Sea is taken.
yes, but Lake Ponchatrain Extension is available.
Or how 'bout HuckaBay. Just thought of that. He lives on the north shore in FL.
The Gulf of Empty Promises of Environmentally Safe Practices (Gulf of BP for short).
The Slick of BP? Gulf of Ooops? Firth of Filth?
In honor of the patron saint of republicans, it should be renamed The Gulf of Reagan.
Then we could listen to endless hours of republican politicians how greatly they admire its clean, beautiful, pollution-free water, air, and beaches just like they tell us how much they admire the economic policies they imagine are those of Saint Ronald of the Rayguns!
Damn near everything else is named after Saint Ronald, why not the Gulf?
Ah yes a sea of delusions for them to relax upon as they shoot their rifles towards Mexico and curse Obama. The lost tribe of wannabes asail on the open sea looking for Hukabee as they fail to see the hole where the sail oughta be.
No Coast Guard shall be sent--we had to cut the budget.
My apologies to republicans! If we are to name it after Saint Ronald, a mere Gulf is insufficient; therefore it would be appropriate to name it The Reagan Ocean!
It trickled down to become a gulf?
Maybe we could raise revenue by selling naming rights?
If Candle Stick Park can be renamed in the name of profit why not the Gulf?
The Gulf of Chevron. We could get a bidding war going. Pit the oil industry against the tree huggers. The Gulf of Carbon Emmisssions vs The Gulf of Koch.
Lets monetize public names. Why not, the GOP's goal is to privatize everything anyway.
If we are going to let the Ferrengi..er sorry the 1% loot our economy lets maximize the profit. Going once, going twice sold!
/sarcasm
If we were to follow your suggestion, we would need to follow the standard model of how it is done. Here in Indianapolis, the SuperBore was held in Lucas Oil Stadium. When the republican politicians were negotiating on behalf of the taxpayers to have the taxpayers pay to build the Billion $$$ palace, they negotiated that the money from the naming rights would go to the Irsay family who own the Colts. However, the republican negotiators did not forget the taxpayers who are paying for the palace; the taxpayers do get a percentage of the ATM fees inside the stadium. And yes, that is all that gets paid back to those actually paying for the palace!
Scanning quickly my eye tricked me with thinking I saw:
Candle Pick Snark
-- not perfect for the context, but leveraging several levels of connection nonetheless.
The White-Is-Right-Baby-Jesus Gulf of Drill, Baby, Drill!!
Too long (and costly) to put on all the signs!
Yeah, but it's got a ring to it.
Yeah, you're right. Maybe instead, to "cut costs" and all, we can hire all underprivelaged kids after they're done doing the janitorial work at school to come and paint them all with the new moniker!
NewOrleansWinosaur
So happy to find Kent Jones and I are in agreement that your entry is our personal fave!
Congratulations on the nod. I'd say that means you won the contest!
Gulf Oil taken? If not that's my imput.
The Gulf of Get the Hell Out of My Back Yard!
The Gulf of NIMBY
The gulf is so polluted now, let Mexico keep it!
The Bight of Blight.
Is there a novel in the works: 'Blight on Beach"?
We could stimulate the economy on multiple fronts by allowing corporations to buy naming rights for geographic features, in the same way they name stadiums. Pay the feds a naming fee (so long deficit!) and prop up the map-making industry at the same time. Just think...the Chevrolet Grand "Like A Rock" Canyon, the Gulf of Mexico brought to you by the Golf Channel (or the Volkswagen Golf)...
Gulf of Glop
Gulf of disconnection....
Gulf of Koch
Sell the naming rights to Gulf Oil... then Name it Gulf Oil....then after the next spill...we don't have to clean it...because it's just Gulf Oil....
I do not know what to name it but, I was jacking off their and shot my load into the water and a big fish came up and ate my cum.
that is wildly inappropriate
Gulf of Greed
Gulf Oil.
How about noting our humility in the face of Mother Nature and rename the gulf to:
The Gulf of Katrina!
Or,
The George Bush Alamo! -Kevo
BP Sea
Gulf of America's Wasted Potential
Big-Ass Bay
How about keeping it simple: The Gulf of Shame?
How about just "Big Dirty"? It fits in with the "Big Muddy" flowing into it and "Big Oil" polluting it.
We should name it for the best thing in the area - the Gulf of Jamaican Beef Patties. I don't even care that Jamaica isn't really in the Gulf so much as near it.
Gulf of Toxic Waste
Gulf of Oil Well Disposal
Gulf of Use, Abuse and Demise