Billy Lucas, 15 and different in Greensburg, Indiana, killed himself this month after other kids taunted him for seeming gay.
This is not a new kind of story, but it's getting a new kind of response. Sex columnist Dan Savage says what everyone who grew up different, in whatever way, knows is true: Life gets better. Savage and his husband tell their story in the video above. They invite other gay couples to record theirs and send them in for the new It Gets Better project. If you or someone you know submits one, drop us a line.
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This message is so unbelievably important. Very, /very/ cool project.
2 deleted, GGA100.weebly.com spamming their Weebly.
Fantastic, I like this guy a lot. (What he's done to Santorum's odds of being elected President is a bonus, yes.) Good for him.
Why is it that the Old Testament abomination of homosexuality is applicable to modern society even though Jesus didn't see fit to mention it once, but those who engage in the the Old testament abominations of eating shellfish/ pork products and wearing mixed fabric get a free ride?
Don't forget the Old Testament had Father/Daughter incest as well as polygamy.
My uncle is a Lutheran Pastor and he doesn't see anything wrong with two loving, caring adults.
Well Said!
Jesus doesn't say anything about it but it is condemned in the new testament. In fact, the new testament actually has broader condemnations of homosexuality as it not only targets gay men (as the old testament did) but condemns gay women too.
There are also passages in the new testament that are generally interpreted by christians as removing the prohibition against certain foods and Paul writes a great deal about why christians should not observe jewish laws in general.
So keep these things in mind as you deal with bigots--if you bring up those points you made with a modestly versed chrisitian they will disregard them on the ground that you don't know your bible right (and they'd be justified in doing so).
A better point to make with those sorts is write down on a piece of paper "it is immoral to oppose homosexuality," and tell them "see, I have a piece of paper that says you're being immoral too, so you should stop."
Let's try to keep in mind that the Bible was written, edited, edited some more, and then edited yet again, by humans. God created all of us, and God created diversity. The diversity of sexuality that is represented by humans is also seen in many animals. This is part of life and nature. To respect God, you must respect the diversity that God created. When you don't respect the diversity that God created, you are bowing to the will of ignorant (and sometimes evil) humans. Jesus did not say "go out there and be a hater".
@previous poster. take your religion and your invisible, prejudiced sky wizard and shove it.
Great idea for youths but I'm kind of disappointed that such an emphasis is being placed on "couples" videos. It sends the message to LGBT youth that their life can't be fulfilling and terrific as a single, gay male or female. I am a single gay male that has a great group of gay guys and gals that I spend time with and guess what? None of us are in relationships and we all are content and happy with various stories to tell and advice for struggling youth.
Believe it or not relationships and marriage aren't for everyone. I think it's a shame to make impressionable LGBT youth feel pressured to be in a relationships or adopt children because that is what he or she feels they are "expected" to.
It seems kind of a sad that we aren't invited to participate just because none of us have "husbands" or "wives."
Reading through the article/letter about this in The Stranger it is open to singles and couples, the first one in the channel is by a couple, but they don't have to be...
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=4940874
Dan Savage and Terry Miller were just starting off with their own personal story, which I don't think negates anyone else's story. You should submit yours @tmc80.
My Dad was an Evangelical pastor.
He used to say, 'A lot of people will be surprised by who they meet in Heaven.'
And who they won't
Natalia-2399399 i think he's taking the piss as we say in australia. At least I hope so....
GAA is a homophobic red neck bible thumper... Jeasus NEVER comdemed anyone for being gay. His whole ministry was to "love each other" not HATE HATE HATE!!!!!
gga100:
When Jesus walks in to my family room and tells me the Rev hasn't sinned in 41 yrs, he's got a convert...
till then...
Theological debates in which Christians debate whether or not Jesus thought this or that about gays hurts gay kids. Progressive Christians on this side, conservatives Christians on the other, each take a limb of a gay kid and pull.
Just stop. Stop trying to make it about defending or roasting a religion.
Edit: Thanks for removing that first one. Must've been while I was typing. :)
Awesome video, thank you for posting it.
I am straight, but was very much a nerd, was suspected of being gay (although I am not -- not that that really matters), and was mercilessly bullied in middle and high school. All children who are being subjected to bullying and hatred need to understand the message that IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER. Grade school is another word for "hell" for anyone who is even a little eccentric, but if you can make it through -- and you CAN make it through! -- it stops the moment you grab your diploma.
Hang in there, and don't give up! Here is Peter Gabriel's inspiring song of the same name to help (it helped me). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiu6RMMNERs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jWKcc53ClY&feature=related
Is this true?
http://www.angryblacklady.com/2010/09/18/montanas-latest-assault-on-teh-gayz/
Brilliant. Love it.
That was so beautiful.
What if the boy wasn't gay? As we all know, being labeled gay/queer/lesbian, true or not, is a death sentence in high school social circles, as evidenced by this boy's action. So having two gay men talk about how it gets better . . . how is that hope for those labeled queer who are not?
Well, the what if in this case is that Billy was Bisexual. His profile on a gay community dating site was uncovered and subsequently removed (ostensbily at the family's request). Profile is still available, google "bi guy from westport" (in quotes) and you can pick out the cached page that mentions Billy Lucas from the very few results.
Another tragedy to this is the denial by certain people in the community that Billy was LGBT. Including the family as you can read in The Greensburg Daily News by searching the archives. I'd link if to everything if it would let me.
How does denial help Billy or those that are LGBT or merely labeled as such?
@Kathleen There's a big difference between bullied for seeming gay when you are gay and when you're aren't gay.
When you aren't gay you know that the things they're saying isn't true because you know you're not gay. It still feels bad of course, but it doesn't have the same effect as it does on someone who is gay.
Someone who is gay and knows it begins to hate themselves because they're gay. They know they can't change, which leads to hopelessness, and that's what can lead to suicide.
Totally doing this. Hell, even evangelical gay kids get through it :)
For a 14-, 15-, 16-year old waiting for life to get better is little-to-no consolation in their present lives. Kids simply don't see that far ahead. Teachers and school administrators need to get on the ball, NOW! If they have personal problems with the issue, they need to get out of the profession. Any child who commits suicide due to bullying for any reason is one too many.
Life for all teens is filled with competition and frustration. The added humiliation of being a gay teen in Greenfield IN (where my family member lives.) would be vicious and unrelenting. It is a small town of good hardworking people, but they do not accept what they don't understand. My heart goes out to his family.
In high school I developed many crushes for other boys, but I did not know I was gay. I survived by burying myself in my studies, getting good grades, and going off to college. I had never been back to any of my high school reunions until last year. After living in a committed relationship for 35 years, I was comfortable being gay. With passage of Prop. 8 in California, I came to realize that the best way to tear down homophobia is for gay people to come out of the closet. So, I went to that high school reunion with my partner and was pleasantly surprised at the positive reception we got! I'm convinced that once people get to know a gay person it is difficult to hate us. People hate out of ignorance, fear and insecurity. Thank you Dan & Terry for sharing your story. Hopefully, it will prevent someone out there from taking their life.
as a 53 yr. old white,straight grandma,who has no gays in her family(that i know of), i think that is one of the most inspiring stories to pass on to young gay people who may not have a supportive family. life gets better is a wonderful message! and who gives a @!$%# what a band of nomads had laws about marriage and sex 3000 years ago!! they have NO bearing on me or my life!
Fox new is not news. But you, foxnewsisnews, are a bigoted idiot. As for your second posting, I am sure you don't know what the hell you are talking about, since no self respecting gay man or lesbian would give a moron like you the time of day. You are a sad loser, and you always will be.
Dan is very inspiring. I was with my first partner for 9 years when he passed away from AIDS. Believe it or not my life still got better. I met my current partner who I have been with now 18 years,. Life is good and life is full of lots of ups and downs. Like every other human being.
a simple........ thank you
Isn't this the same Dan Savage who recently said on Countdown that same-sex marriage and the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell are the only remaining items on the LGBT agenda?
A nice effort I suppose, but why are we still taking seriously a guy who's clearly even more out of touch with what's going on in the real world for LGBT Americans than your average Republican?
Dan ain't perfect, but no one is. He's done a good thing because he cares. And I guess you can cut him down like the way we queer folk always do to each other. At least try not to do it in front of the kids.
(You don't need to provide me a list of all the horrible, horrible things he has ever said. I already know.)
On second thought, Savage is probably a perfect choice for MSNBC. They too apparently have no interest in talking about the civilian LGBT employment crisis affecting the 99.99% of American LGBT workers (double the national unemployment rate for LGBTs overall, with 97% of transgender workers reporting discrimination on the job) who aren't employed by the government.
Such a pity. Like the Democrats, MSNBC could do so much more if they put in a little effort and dug into the real issue instead of just flagwaving and scratching the surface.
Wow. Powerful message that really applies to a lot of kids, gay or not. It does get better. Thanks for the inspiring video. Your son is adorable!!! 17 years? You two are great!
I'm surprised and a bit dismayed that Maddow hasn't bother to find time in her comedy hour to take some serious time. There have been at least 5 suicides (possibly 7) in the past 3 weeks related to children being bullied for perceived sexuality. Get the Trevor Project on your show NOW.
She's a person, not a news robot.
Puh-lease! These people can't even be bothered to cover more than 0.01% of the national LGBT employment crisis. The one and only time the Employment Non-Discrimination Act has even been mentioned on this show was in passing by NAACP President Ben Jealous, on a night when Rachel was off and Chris Hayes was filling in.
You clearly expect far too much from MSNBC.
Yep kids, once you get through the bullies in high school, you get to deal with the bullies in the LGBT community. Good times.
WTF.
You have to be kidding right!? "These people" as you so derogatorily refer are headed/defined by Rachel...?...an openly out gay woman...I take it you are calling her a self-hating gay woman then - one who can't or doesn't represent a true self. Really!? So, she's not doing enough for you and you find the need to call her out as one of 'those' people - interestingly, as a gay grouping goes, that group would include not just Rachel, but myself, and you apparently?! (your bio?) wtf
And for both djohnan and Rebecca - just when in the hell did you become the professional conduct police and start mandating what a gay persons professional obligations are in their profession of choice (if that's the case, I want dibbs on both your jobs and input as to what you are/are not...). Who the hell are you to decide or have any input into what a fellow gay persons obligations are to their community, save say, at a minimum, not unfairly castigate or bringing harm to us...oh, yeah, that's where you both fall off the track isn't it?!
What about instead, we look to the painful subject matter that this blog is so immersed in at this time and recognize that compassion, empathy, and human dignity is universal to all people and matters just as much within our own community...and maybe practice it a bit more.
In a word familiar to TRMS viewers, bullpuckey!
I'll thank you not to put words into my mouth. I didn't call Rachel self-hating or anything like that. What I did say, and what I stand by, is that MSNBC does a lousy job of covering the LGBT employment crisis. In that I also include Keith Olbermann, Ed Schultz, and pretty much the entire channel.
I question the credibility of focusing on just a tiny fraction of the LGBT community and ignoring the rest of us. I question why gay and lesbian soldiers are worth tons of coverage but the rest of us and our jobs aren't worth even a fraction of that attention. I question why MSNBC considers it good journalism to cover in great detail the bigotry and discrimination faced by soldiers currently serving, but not the country and the lives they will return once they're booted out because of DADT or their tours end and they return home.
In short, my argument is that the way MSNBC covers the LGBT employment crisis is like covering a mugging in great detail while completely ignoring the bank robbery taking place across the street.
If you're going to attack me, that's fine, but at least attack me for what I've actually said, not your own obviously biased interpretation of it.
Oh and by the way, if you want to read my full argument on this issue, you can find it here:
http://rebeccajuro.newsvine.com/_news/2010/05/31/4442461-insightful-yet-still-blind-msnbc-just-doesnt-get-the-lgbt-civil-rights-movement
Ok, whatever bullpuckey it is to you, I hear you - my confusion, great confusion actually, then why target an openly gay woman's political commentary show for your particular targeted castigation...what, you don't have enough 'other' targets to aim and shoot at?!
I attack it because Rachel and MSNBC in general have proven over and over that they can do far better on this issue than they have been. We all know that they can do better and I question why they are choosing not to.
I attack it because I believe we should be able to expect better from a channel and a network which has proven they can deliver exactly that and they aren't doing so.
It has nothing whatsoever to do with Rachel's sexuality. As an out transsexual woman, the very last thing I'm going to do is go after someone else's life choices. At the same time, Rachel's personal life does not exempt her from what I believe is a valid criticism of her work and that of her MSNBC colleagues. It works both ways.
Gee Rebecca, why do I not believe you are spending equal/commensurate time at the more offending media outlets - because you're not? In this case, I believe you are targeting and attacking Rachel specifically because she is an openly gay woman - it has everything to do with her sexuality for you. The truth is you are expecting her to rise to a higher and more vocal/visual level than the others, and, your tone and verbage turns denigrating to her, equating her to a similar category as the 'others', when you perceive she fails you/us...what part of that rings Ok?
Sorry but I don't indulge in your victim mentality. I've gone after Keith Olbermann and others when I've felt they didn't measure up. Fortunately, I'm a blogger and as such, I've got the print equivalent of "Let's go to the video tape..." handy:
http://www.bilerico.com/2010/01/transphobia_in_mainstream_media_are_the_right-wing.php
Considering that Keith Olbermann is straight and male, I guess your argument pretty much goes right in the dumper, huh?
LMFAO. Yeah, that's where I end our discussion. I'm not up for engaging in this type of discourse - life is way too short...and full of far better things...
You Guys Are Awesome!!! You ROCK...Peace, Love and Light Always!!!