Dan Savage writes:
I think another phone call from the president is called for.
What he said. This is the kind of story that had ought to make you mad.
[Elderly Gay Couple Forcibly Separated, Abused, Robbed By County Officials in California]
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How does something like this happen in this country? I hope the guy gets his stuff back and wins every lawsuit he files but that won't replace the lost months with his partner. How sad.
I think this is a hate crime and it should be prosecuted. This is just atrocious!
When the government can willfully ignore powers of attorney, and other legal protections, Obama's memo to look into visitation rights really is meaningless.
We're way past lip-service with this kind of behavior still going on. The few actual actions this administration has taken on Gay Civil Rights do not make up for the lack of progressive movement on repealing DOMA and granting couples like these the full support of the federal government.
In the coming weeks, the lack of any public speech from a President who is renowned for his orations will speak volumes. It is as much as what is said as what isn't.
I've decided to stop buying wine from Sonoma vinters and other things from the area. This goes beyond cruel and enters into something vile and inhumane. I just could never keep my stomach from turning if I supported any business in an area where such bigotry exists.
This story breaks my heart. Thanks for posting it here, it makes me wonder for every case like this we hear about, how many go unnoticed. Getting the word out is the first step.
I'm glad you picked up this story.
Not buying wine from Sonoma isn't going to help matters. Authorites not paying attention to living wills is not solely a gay issue. I am heterosexual, but my mother died of breast cancer and her living wills were ignored as well.
I think the real issue is non-awareness by employees at hospitals and other agencies in regards to who has the right to direct patient care when the patient is unable to do this for themselves. I still think one way to bring attention to the matter is a govt Mandate concerning the privacy laws surrounding a patients medical care. Employees across the board are not informed enough in this regard. Not a total solution, no.
What are the names of the gay couple? What did the county say their relationship was?
I'm just checking to see if you read the articles.
No, I understand what she's getting at. Yes, of course the fact that this was a gay couple led to the whole debacle. If they had been a straight couple, the living will wouldn't even have come into play. The hospital would have asked Harry's (the patient's) wife what to do. The county might have treated their common property the same, I don't know. I don't know California law. But jackiels' point about the hospital is well taken. If Harry was alert enough to argue about calling the ambulance, then he was alert enough to inform the hospital that he had a living will - and the hospital should have been forced to honor it. Hospitals tie themselves in knots to protect privacy, because of a government mandate to do so. Likewise they should take as much care to protect a patient's wishes.
Nope. Illiterate. Don't worry, its ok to hate folks that can't read.
I read about this earlier today and it really broke my heart. It's hard to imagine how cold hearted and downright cruel people and laws can be. No lawsuit can undo what happened, but hopefully it hold people accountable and prevent cases like this from happening again.
Not many folks can say the government just arbitrarily decides they're not related to their spouse and their family isn't really their family.
Heteronormativity. What's that? Merely a figment of the queer's imagination. No one gets special treatment and we're all equal in the eyes of the law. Ah, ignorance is privilege.
"but did grant the county limited access to one of Harold's bank accounts to pay for his care"
Whoever has 'rights' to decide medical care then makes financial decisions...its all connected. Connect the dots. But don't worry, its ok to hate all heterosexuals because of the ones on the fringe.
What a neat trick characterizing pointing out privilege as an expression of hate.
Nope, no heterosexism here, just the forced separation of two people of the same sex that just happened to live together. And somehow they couldn't figure out who's stuff was who's. Because that's just what happens with "roommates", their belongings become indistinguishable.
Connect the dots, except for you know, the gay dots.
Yes this happens to gays. No one disputes that. But it happens to the mentally ill no matter what their sexual preference is, the poor no matter what their sexual preference is, the elderly no matter what their sexual preference is...I could go on. I shouldn't have to.
Sounds to me like you would rather wallow in self pity and rail and scream than actually try and do something and work with others toward a Common goal and actually make you know, change.
How do you think change happens? By someone railing and screaming and demanding.
You're still failing to grasp that the crux of the issue for gays is specifically the legal and social definition of "family." It's because marriage is the only contract that is understood to create a legal and social familial bond between two adults and the kids that they may raise together.
It's not about who gay people have sex with. It's about who gay people form families with. (Which you might see if you thought of "gay" as more than merely a "sexual preference.")
You wanting to make it about something else that doesn't have anything to do with being gay to weaken the gay rights position only weakens the whole argument. The gay community leads on the issue and whatever change we make will help the poor, the elderly and the mentally ill.
Gays are ones that are organized and demand the change. Gays are the ones that make the change that benefits people who are affected by similar circumstances that aren't gay. That hospital visitation memo from Obama affects everyone regardless of sexual orientation, but was done because the gay community demanded it.
Gays are the ones that demanded the Patients Bill of Rights that allow patients to designate visitors that aren't legal relatives. Gays are the ones that demanded Funeral Rights that allows anyone to designate a non-relative to plan their funeral. Gays are the ones that demanded domestic partner registries. And you know, straight people have access to all that too.
The gay community has already been working on these issues, because we see it first. We're the canary in the coal mine because we're vulnerable as a class. But we're also a community and politically organized. If you want to help then you have to help us. Other advocacy groups already coalesce with gay rights organizations. You're just thinking and making suggestions about an issue that the gay community is already in motion on because we have a movement.
At a minimum get informed about the activism already taking place before you start criticizing it. They gay community is already organized, already makes change and already works with other advocacy groups toward common goals. So what, exactly, are you complaining about?
Thanks Rachel for running this story here. I'd love to know why this story hasn't been at-least picked-up by all the major mainstream news org's. This story is beyond disgusting; it's evil and reprehensible! The magnitude of these abuses is on the level of a dehumansing, institutionalised eugenics. The county stole their money, auctioned-off their assets and chattels, cancelled their rent, and separated and committed them to separate institutions; all despite one of these men being healthy, with no safeguards or tests being administered for capacity, AND the relevant power-of-attorney, the necessary hospital-care preparations, etc. This speaks of complacency. They weren't even permitted access to one-another in death; they may-have-just-as-well spat-upon them. This needs to be questioned and brought to light. I wish any and all having gone through similar tragedies, the deepest of any and all concern and well-wishes
I've seen a few people link to that one same original story, and honestly my thinking has been, "Has anyone fact-checked this?" Because I don't want this to be true. I don't want it to be possible. It makes my mind and my heart melt in bad ways.
Follow-up to the story.
http://nclrights.wordpress.com/2010/04/20/meet-harold-and-clay/
Particularly interesting:
"Several folks have commented about the legal status of Clay and Harold’s relationship. These tragic events began in April 2008, one month before the California Supreme Court’s historic marriage ruling. By the time the California Supreme Court ruled and marriages began for that brief six months, Harold was already hospitalized and Clay imprisoned in a nursing home. The two men had not registered as Domestic Partners, and they may not have even known that option existed. But they had filled out all the paperwork that attorneys advise same-sex couples to create, including wills and powers of attorney for health care."
I commented above about the hospital and their failure to honor Harry's living will. As for the county, I'd dearly like to know if anyone involved with the decision to trample these men's rights was a social worker. One would assume so, seeing as it's "the county." If so, I'd like to direct their attention to the National Association of Social Workers' Code of Ethics: http://www.naswdc.org/pubs/code/code.asp , particularly parts 1.01, 1.02, 1.05, perhaps 1.14, and especially 4.02, 6.01, and 6.04. As a social worker myself, I hope all of my colleagues will join me in working to make sure this never happens again. As a lesbian, I've made sure that my and my partner's living wills and power of attorney documents are legally valid.